


Broken

by Dazeventura6



Series: Regrets [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Angst, Kidnapped Q, M/M, Pining, Torture, kinda maybe happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 07:35:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13185348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dazeventura6/pseuds/Dazeventura6
Summary: Bond leaves in the aftermath of spectre and leaves Q a broken man. Then someone comes along and tries to break the quartermaster even more.





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> The title and lyrics are to Broken by Lifehouse.  
> Many thanks to my beta GhostInTheBAU, and rivermoon1970 for reading it before it was done....lol

_ The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight _

_ Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time _

_ I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts _

_ I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out _

Bond was gone. He couldn’t believe he had just up and left him…them…MI6. He had even come back for the car ,  and Q could see in his eyes that he knew what he was doing to the quartermaster by leaving like he had. Q had always known that he didn’t mean anything more than a convenient occasional shag to Bond , but he couldn’t help falling for the older man.

_ The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head _

_ I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead _

_ I still see your reflection inside of my eyes _

_ That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life _

At first, he had tried to keep his heart guarded, making rules and bargaining with his own heart so he could keep the other man with him _just one more night_. It was always just one more time with him, even though Bond never stayed the night. He would always fall asleep after Bond had cleaned him up post-sex \--warm and safe in the agent’s arms\--and wake to a cold, empty bed where it was obvious that the man had left hours before.

_ I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing _

_ With a broken heart that's still beating _

_ In the pain (in the pain), is there healing _

_ In your name (in your name) I find meaning _

_ So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin') _

_ I'm barely holdin' on to you _

After Bond left he tried to keep going like nothing had changed ,  like his heart hadn’t been shattered by the man leaving , but he knew that he hadn’t succeeded from the pitying looks that Eve  constantly  gave him. He did his best to keep moving, keep breathing, keep on keeping on like he had before he had ever met the blond spy \--the spy  who had destroyed his heart \-- but he felt hollow on the inside.

He still managed to come up with brilliant new tech that saved agents lives , and he was still  the best  at his job , but none of it held any enjoyment for him anymore. He no longer found any joy at all in his little creations or the post-mission highs that came from saving an agent miles away with just the push of a button.

Increasingly he felt like he was just going through the motions of living , and h e began to wonder if it wasn't time to make a change. Maybe quitting and not being around the place that always reminded him so much of the blue-eyed spy would help him heal better. He was almost thinking of mentioning it to Eve during one of their weekly pub nights.

But  then they grabbed him. 

They took him, and i t happened so quickly he had no chance of fighting back. At first, they didn’t talk to him  at all. They just poked and prodded at him , drawing blood and bone marrow, keeping him weak and sedated , unable to do anything to affect his own escape. His captors were two men and a fully covered masked figure that never spoke to him and could be either male or female  and  seemed to be in charge of things.

Then it began. 

The questions . 

They asked about his Nano tracker in Bond, and where the spy was. They asked him if the tracker was still active, and how he had he disabled nine-eyes so easily. They wanted to know if he could turn it back on for them. 

Q held on as long as he possibly could. He took the beatings, the brandings, the rape,  the  broken bones ; and he  never once opened his mouth except to scream his pain to the heavens.  Thankfully they did n’ t touch his hands but  he figured  the reason for that reprieve was because  they wanted him to be able to use them. He couldn’t even bring himself to be snarky to them like he knew James would have been  given the same situation . 

After the first couple of weeks had passed, he gave up hope of ever being rescued and just prayed for an end to his pain. When he didn’t crack they got him just enough medical attention that he wouldn’t die on them and left him alone in his cell, still drugged and chained naked to the wall. They had even taken his glasses away.

Every few days someone would come in and ask the same questions  again , followed by a beating when he didn’t cooperate ; but in the interim he had days ... maybe hours ...hell,  maybe  even weeks of just the silence and his own thoughts to keep him company.

_ I'm hangin' on another day _

_ Just to see what you will throw my way _

_ And I'm hanging on to the words you say _

_ You said that I will be OK _

_ The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone _

_ I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home _

_ I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing _

_ With a broken heart that's still beating _

_ In the pain(In the pain) there is healing _

_ In your name I find meaning _

_ So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), _

_ I'm barely holdin' on to you _

Bond stared incredulously at the man hanging limply from the chains attached to the ceiling.

It couldn’t be. It was impossible , really . 

They ’ d found a body. Tanner had told him,  and it had been barely recognizable , but they had had DNA confirmation.  So this person  couldn’t be Q \--t his battered  and beaten man hanging from the ceiling couldn’t be his bright, beautiful quartermaster , the young man who had kept up with  him  so easily both in the field and in their bed.

Heart racing with a mixture of hope and dread in equal measure, Bond limped forward, ignoring the pain in his own leg, to see if he could find a pulse, searching frantically until he finally felt it, barely there but still a   flutter of life just beneath the skin.

“Q…Q…Open your eyes , my love. Please, look at me,” Bond said , cupping the younger man’s face in his hands and running his fingers through hair matted with blood. There was so much blood , and it broke Bond’s heart to see him like that.

“James ...? ” was the soft ly  murmur ed reply,  “James ... ”

“Yes,  y es Q. I t’s me,” James sighed, relief coloring his tone, “I ’m  right  here.”

“No . No, you  can’t be here. You shouldn’t be here. I di n’ t give them you. I  promise I didn’t. I didn’t. I didn’t give them anything.”

“ Shhh,”  Bond soothed ,  even as he tried to hold the man up with one hand and pick the locks on his shackles with the other, ignoring the complaints of his own body as he did so , “I know you didn't, Q. You were so brave, my love.  You didn’t give them anything.” 

“Ohh ,  good… you're not r-real. You’re jus ...just an  hal-halucin ...a  dream.  I know  ‘cause the r eal James would never ...he would never  call me love , ” Q said , shattering Bond’s heart all over again. The spy couldn’t help himself, he held the limp form close to him carefully, buried his face in bloodied curls and cried.

“S ’ ok ,  dream James ,” Q reassured, “ Almost over now. I’ll be dead soon . ” 

James could see how he was slurring his words more , and it worried him, just as much as Q’s assertion that he would be dead soon.

“No, no Q , you  stay with me.  Okay?  You have to stay with me !” he frantically plead, continuing to pick at the locks  until he finally heard the click  of their release, “ I’m real , Q, I  promise. I’ll get us out of here \--just please...p lease  stay with me .” 

He couldn’t believe that his Q might have died  in this hellhole if he hadn't stumbled upon him during his own escape. And even now, the young man--the love of his life--could still die, and he would be powerless to stop it.

 

_ I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), _

_ I'm barely holdin' on to you _

 


End file.
